What to say about...

…Gordon Bloody Ramsay

“Women are better off mixing a gin and tonic than meddling with modern cuisine, says the celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay” (SMH 25/10/05). Rant, rant, rant. He continues that most women can’t cook to save their lives. Most chicks I know could boil an egg if someone was holding a gun to their heads – even if it was hard boiled. Unfortunately this is yet another case of GBR shooting his mouth off, rugby thug style, for no real reason, saying nothing that’s either interesting or has any bearing on reality (we all know GBR does not, in fact, live in the same reality as anyone else but in the parallel universe of Claridges' kitchen, which I often imagine is somewhat like an English public school playground plus sharp knives and ladles). I’m sure if the female chefs of the world united to prove him wrong he’d quickly add “yeah, well I bet you can’t boot a commis chef out the door with a hobnailed boot ya sissy!” … Well maybe Chris Manfield could. Sadly, abuse is a thing where victims graduate to perpetrators, so GBR must have had some ugly experiences at the heels of a woman who was somewhere near the kitchen. Maybe his mum burnt his toast and he’s exacting his revenge on the rest of the gender. Thing is, there is a ring of truth to his ravings. I know I’m way better off with a chilled Bombay & tonic with a slice of lime in my paw, and if GBR wants to do the cooking while I sip away, so much the better. But what GBR doesn’t get is that with women it’s the choice – I can be better off diving headlong into a cocktail but I can equally choose to put together a stunning meal. See, women do things coz they want to, and we choose to do it when we want to. So transport that broken nose back over the heated hob, GBR, and rustle me up a little gorgeous bit of something while I chill and think about a new recipe!